All The Fire Page 16
Joanne compressed her lips. ‘You’re so clever, aren’t you?’ she exclaimed bitterly.
‘Not particularly,’ he replied, frowning. ‘For God’s sake, Joanne, stop trying to find reasons for everything we do! Some things are beyond analysis, and I speak from experience!’
‘I bet you do!’ Joanne hunched her shoulders.
‘Oh, Joanne,’ he sighed impatiently, ‘have you no sense?’ and putting his fingers round the soft flesh of her upper arm, he drew her resistingly down to him. Joanne pressed against his chest, but he was too strong for her, and putting his other hand behind her head he forced her mouth down to meet his. For a long moment, Joanne fought against responding, but as his lips parted her own she could resist no longer.
With a groan, Dimitri rolled over, pressing her back against the grass while his mouth sought the smooth flesh of her shoulders. He slid her dress from one shoulder, caressing the softness with his lips, while his hand moved disturbingly against the nape of her neck. Joanne’s arms, behind his neck, drew him closer, and she could feel him tremble.
‘Now this is crazy!’ he muttered thickly, against her hair. ‘I’m only human, Joanne, and this has got to stop - now—’
With a ruthless effort he dragged himself away from her, getting to his feet and raking a hand through his hair. He didn’t look back at her but strode away to the Land Rover, and when she roused herself sufficiently a few moments later to sit up he was lighting a cheroot with hands that were not quite steady. Joanne put her hands to her own hair, smoothing it with difficulty, dreading the moment when she would have to walk across to the Land Rover and get inside, knowing that when he drove her back to her father’s villa she would never see him again. She knew now that she disturbed him as much as he disturbed her, but with him it was only a physical reaction whereas with her she was very much afraid it was something far more devastating.
They did not speak at all on their way back to the villa and when Dimitri halted the car behind the house Joanne slid out without even saying good-bye. In truth, she didn’t trust herself to say anything without making an absolute fool of herself, and Dimitri’s strangely aloof manner brooked no attempt at levity.
He merely nodded briefly at her and once she was safely on the ground he thrust the Land Rover into reverse, sending the tyres screaming on the dusty track. Then only a cloud of dust remained, and Joanne walked heavily round to the patio and entered the house.
Andrea was seated on the couch with some magazines and she gave Joanne a strange look as she came in, taking in her tousled hair and grass-stained dress.
‘I want to talk to you, Joanne,’ she said bleakly. ‘Will you sit down?’
Joanne pressed her fingers to her eyes. ‘Can’t it wait?’ she begged wearily.
‘I’m afraid not,’ replied Andrea coldly. ‘Sit down!’
CHAPTER TEN
Almost before Andrea began, Joanne knew that what she was about to tell her was about Dimitri. She wasn’t sure how she was so certain, unless it was that strained expression about Andrea’s nostrils, as though she was struggling to maintain her composure.
And right now, Joanne was in no state to conduct any discussion about Dimitri. Her emotions were raw from the experience by the lake, and there was a dull ache inside her when she contemplated the future without him. The realization that Jimmy would be back in a short while expecting her to respond to his immature kind of lovemaking was repulsive to her and no amount of soul-searching would make it otherwise.
Joanne hesitated for a long moment, and then with a sigh she seated herself opposite Andrea, in a low armchair. ‘What is it, Andrea?’ she asked, endeavouring to look mildly interested.
Andrea, who had had her legs up on the couch, slid them to the ground and got to her feet, pacing about as though what she had to say could not be said in a relaxed position. Then she looked down at Joanne, one hand with its lacquered nails smoothing her cheek.
‘It - it’s about Dimitri!’ she said tautly.
Joanne bent her head. ‘I rather thought it might be,’ she admitted quietly.
Andrea frowned. ‘Why? Am I so transparent?’
‘It depends what you mean by transparent,’ returned Joanne.
Andrea cleared her throat. ‘Well, anyway, it doesn’t matter now. But I think you ought to know certain things ...’
‘Oh yes?’ Joanne was non-committal.
‘Yes.’ Andrea chewed her lower lip. ‘Hasn’t it ever occurred to you to wonder whether I have any parents? Whether they might still be alive?’
Joanne lifted her shoulders. ‘I’m afraid not. Thoughtless of me, I suppose, but no. Why?’
Andrea sighed, and came to sit down again, perching on the edge of her seat almost nervously. ‘I was an orphan. My parents were killed during the war and I was taken by Dimitri’s parents to live with them when I was barely four years old.’
‘I see!’ Joanne’s interest was aroused at last.
‘Do you?’ Andrea sounded less convinced. ‘I wonder. Anyway, Dimitri was almost seven at that time, and he became my - what would you say? - protector?’ She shrugged. ‘At any rate, we were very close.’ She got to her feet again and began to pace about the room.
Joanne frowned. ‘I don’t see what this has to do with me,’ she began. ‘Except in so far as I may have jumped to conclusions!’
Andrea swung round. ‘You don’t understand!’ she exclaimed. ‘You think we are like brother and sister, is that it?’
Joanne coloured. ‘What are you trying to say, Andrea?’
Andrea heaved a sigh. ‘When I was old enough to get married your father was a frequent visitor at the home of Dimitri’s parents. Dimitri was away - in England - he was educated there.’
‘I know.’
Andrea looked at her frowningly for a moment, and then she went on: ‘When Matt was so pressing, I was flattered! He was a rich man, after all, richer than the Kastros, and obviously I was young enough to be impressed. It was only afterwards I realized what I had done ...’
Joanne felt nauseated. ‘You mean when Dimitri came back, of course.’
‘Of course.’
Joanne clenched her fists. ‘And what made you so sure you had Dimitri’s devotion?’ she inquired, trying to sound sardonic.
Andrea uttered an ejaculation. ‘It’s obvious, isn’t it? He has never married - in all these years.’
‘But there have been other women,’ ventured Joanne, wanting to hurt Andrea as she was hurting her.
Andrea snorted. ‘They meant nothing to him. All men need women. And Dimitri is very much a man, as you are perfectly well aware!’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’ Joanne was on her feet.
‘Exactly what it says!’ snapped Andrea, all pretence at good humour vanishing as Joanne attempted retaliation. ‘I have grown to love your father, but not as I once loved Dimitri, and when I am free ...’ She snapped her fingers. ‘So do not imagine that this game Dimitri is presently playing with you is anything more than that!’
Joanne stepped back. ‘You hate me!’ she said, in horror.
Andrea gave an impatient gasp. ‘Of course I don’t hate you, Joanne. In fact, I quite like you. But when it comes to Dimitri - I can be ruthless!’
Joanne pressed her palms against her sides. ‘And—and does Dimitri know the extent of your feelings? Does he reciprocate them?’
Andrea’s eyes narrowed. ‘Need you ask?’
Joanne turned away, a very real sense of nausea overwhelming her. It couldn’t be true! She wouldn’t believe that Dimitri, respecting her father as he so obviously did, could betray him so faithlessly without a qualm. And surely if Dimitri did want Andrea so desperately he would keep his affairs out of her sight. And yet he had been indiscreet enough as to reveal some of his interest in her, Joanne, and because of this Andrea had seen fit to put the record straight. Or had she? Dimitri was not a man to allow any woman to dictate his actions, Joanne had had plenty of evidence of that.
Suppres
sing the emotionalism that would have resulted in tears, she left Andrea without another word, crossing the hall to her room with swift steps. Once there, she stripped off her clothes and entered the shower, refusing to even consider the implications of the revelations she had just heard ...
Late in the evening, when dinner was over and the four young people were dancing to records on the patio, Matt sent for Joanne. Leaving the others, Joanne walked quickly to his room, entering after his gentle bidding, and closing the door she smiled warmly at him.
‘Come here, Joanne,’ he invited, patting the side of the bed. ‘There’s something I want to ask you.’
Joanne quivered. She didn’t want to have to make any more decisions today. But there was nothing she could do about it, so she did as he requested, allowing him to take her hands in his.
‘Listen to me,’ he said firmly. ‘I invited Dimitri to lunch today to ask him something, and now I have his permission I can ask you.’
Joanne’s cheeks paled a little. ‘Oh, yes?’ she murmured faintly.
‘Yes,’ Matt nodded. ‘Now I have been talking to Jimmy, too, so what I have to say won’t be entirely alien to him.’
‘What is it?’ Joanne was impatient suddenly.
Matt smiled. ‘Dimitri has said you may have the use of his bungalow for your honeymoon, if you would like it. He won’t be here. He has his apartment in Athens, and he can always visit his parents at Delphi if he requires a break—’
‘Oh, no!’ Joanne could not prevent the words from being uttered.
Matthieu looked concerned. ‘This doesn’t appeal to you?’ he asked disappointedly. ‘Well, yes, I suppose it was a selfish idea ...’
‘It’s not that!’ Joanne compressed her lips. ‘It’s not that at all!’
‘Then what is it? I spoke sort of casually to your fiancé, and he agreed that a honeymoon in England cannot compare with the climate here.’
Joanne shook her head. ‘You don’t understand ...’ she began unhappily.
Matthieu frowned. ‘No, perhaps not. But I’m beginning to,’ he answered, pressing her hands tightly.
She looked up. ‘It’s nothing to do with being here.’
Matt nodded slowly. ‘I ought to have guessed,’ he murmured, almost to himself. ‘It’s Dimitri, isn’t it?’
Joanne’s cheeks burned and her eyes were wide and startled. ‘Dimitri ...’ she repeated, pretending surprise.
‘Don’t try to fool me, Joanne,’ said her father heavily. ‘I can see it in your face. I know I’m right. This morning - I half-suspected, and then I decided I was an old fool, but now I see ...’ He shook his head. ‘Oh, Joanne, what can I say?’
‘Don’t be silly.’ Joanne squeezed his fingers. ‘There’s nothing to say. I suppose most girls suffer from infatuation at least once in their lives.’
‘And that’s all it is - infatuation?’
‘Heavens, yes. Once I’m back home - in England, that is, I’ll forget all about it. It’s just been a summer interlude, that’s all.’
‘And Jimmy?’
‘We’ll be married, as planned.’
‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’ Her father was doubtful now. ‘If this has happened once, it could happen again.’
Joanne shook her head. ‘It’s never happened before. It’s just been a time out of time. Now let’s change the subject.’
‘And the honeymoon?’
Joanne bent her head. ‘Can we leave it open? Oh, Father,’ she bit hard on her lip to stop herself from crying, ‘I wish ... I wish ...’
‘I know.’ Matt patted her head. ‘I wish, too.’
Joanne controlled herself, ‘Would you like me to read to you?’
‘Don’t you want to go back and dance?’
‘I’d rather stay with you.’
Matt smiled. ‘Then stay. Because I want you here, very much.’
After Dimitri had gone things settled down again. Joanne spent her time with the others, deliberately entering every kind of activity in an attempt to create exhaustion inside her so that she was too tired to think of what was happening to her. She even attempted water-skiing, although she fell quite heavily and twisted her ankle, for which she suffered agonies. But she was glad of the presence of Marisa and Constantine, for their presence alleviated any awkwardness between herself and Jimmy. And for a while she allowed her problems to drift by without trying to solve the insoluble.
But as the days crept into a week and the week-end of their departure drew near she knew she would have to come to a decision regarding her father. Jimmy himself brought the subject up, mentioning the possibility of spending their honeymoon at Dimitri’s villa.
Joanne listened to what he had to say, then said: ‘And is that what you want to do?’ in a small voice.
Jimmy frowned. ‘Well, it’s pretty certain, it’s what you want, isn’t it?’ he exclaimed. ‘And I shan’t mind. After all, we’ll have the place to ourselves over there and it’s only natural that you should want to spend as much time with your father as you can.’
Joanne sighed. ‘Yes,’ she said doubtfully.
Jimmy’s frown deepened. ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, Joanne, is it what you want, or isn’t it?’
Joanne coloured. ‘I suppose so,’ she answered defensively.
Jimmy hunched his shoulders. ‘Honestly, I don’t begin to understand you,’ he muttered. ‘Ever since I came here I’ve sensed a change in you. I just can’t understand why you’ve changed, that’s all. I mean - your father’s a great guy, and I know he seems to like me. Andrea’s okay, and Marisa and Con are two pals. What’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with us? It isn’t only your father, I know!’
Joanne felt terrible. ‘Have I been so bad?’
Jimmy sighed. ‘I don’t know. I just know we don’t seem to hit it off like we did! Hell, if I so much as put a finger on you you jump a mile!’
‘That’s an exaggeration, and you know it!’ she exclaimed.
‘Well, anyway, I don’t get it.’
‘There’s nothing to get,’ insisted Joanne. ‘I - I’ll be fine when we get back home - to England. I think it’s this place that’s - getting me down.’
Jimmy stared at her as though trying to read her mind and she bent her head. On no account must he guess the torment of her thoughts.
The night before they left was a rather solemn occasion. But as Joanne had assented earlier in the day to her father’s suggestion to come back in June for their honeymoon it was not as solemn as it might have been. Even so, it was terrible the next morning, taking their leave, and Joanne clung to her father as though she had known and loved him all her life.
The steamer brought them to Piraeus as the sun was sinking in the west, and a taxi took them into the city to a hotel where they were to spend the night. Matt had told Joanne in confidence that he had had Dimitri make all the arrangements for them, and as they sat in the hotel’s dining room, eating a late meal, Joanne wondered with painful expectation whether Dimitri himself would appear. But he did not, and after the meal they took another taxi to the foot of the Acropolis and marvelled at its floodlit magnificence. But Joanne was in no mood to appreciate ancient monuments and although Jimmy wanted to spend several hours sightseeing, she excused herself and went to bed. Their rooms adjoined, and she securely locked the door between before climbing into bed. Somehow she had the feeling that Jimmy was in a reckless mood.
She heard him come in at about three o’clock, and from the clumsy way he seemed to be stumbling about the room he was not entirely sober. Presently the door handle rattled as she had suspected it might, and then his slurred voice whispered: ‘Jo—Joanne! Are you awake?’
Joanne remained very still and silent, and prayed he would not go out into the corridor and try her outer door. There had not been a key in it and she had no way of preventing him from getting in. But as luck would have it, he seemed to be easily disheartened, for after a second attempt to attract her attention he gave it up.
Joanne
heaved a sigh, and as she did so she wondered how much less guilty she was. Would she have locked the door if it had been Dimitri in the adjoining room?
The next morning, Jimmy apologized for being so late in coming in.
‘Oh, were you?’ Joanne feigned surprise. ‘I didn’t hear you. I must have fallen asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.’
Jimmy seemed relieved, and she wondered just exactly what he had been doing the night before. But with a pang she realized that it didn’t matter to her any longer.
Their flight left the International airport at eleven o’clock and they arrived back in London in the early afternoon, London time. To Joanne’s surprise, Mr. and Mrs. Lorrimer were at the airport to meet them, and Jimmy explained that he had cabled ahead and arranged this little surprise for her. Joanne wished he hadn’t, but somehow she managed to sound pleased to see them. They drove straight back to Oxhampton in Mr. Lorrimer’s car, Jimmy keeping the conversation going with interesting anecdotes about his holiday.
But when they actually reached Oxhampton, Joanne said that she must go home first, instead of accepting their invitation for tea.
‘But the house will be cold, and you’ll have nothing in!’ exclaimed Mrs. Lorrimer reasonably. ‘Now come along, Joanne, we won’t let you mope! Come home with us and afterwards Jimmy can run you back.’
But Joanne was adamant and eventually it was Jimmy who said, rather impatiently: ‘For heaven’s sake, Dad, drop her at the gate. There’s no point in making all this fuss! I’ll come round later on, Joanne.’